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Picture of Walter Aguilar

Walter Aguilar

Coach

When we live from a state of fear,...

When we live from a state of fear, we can create separation from ourselves and from others. From ourselves, in the sense, that we end up living our life in the past or the future. Our authentic self can always be found in the present moment; the now.

Life is supposed to be lived in the present moment, not in or through our minds. It is only in the present moment that we have the power to act and behave in ways that can create a more meaningful experience for our selves and those around us. We are the most selfish when we are reliving our pain through our feeling or our thoughts.

Our sense of who we think we are, may feel threatened or we may fear losing something or someone we care deeply about. We go into self protection mode. We can all agree that when we are under stress reactions, we do not show up as our best version of who we can be.

Fear separates, kindness unites, because to be kind requires us to be present, objective and to make a conscious choice. To want to change how we show up for ourselves and others, requires awareness and
understanding. The desire to notice what may be going on for us emotionally and mentally, may not have to do with the person or situation in front of us at any given moment can of great help to changing our behavior. Understanding that relationships are not there to make us happy or unhappy, but conscious. Conscious of what past wounds have not yet healed or what we have not yet let go.

Separation happens when connection has been compromised. When we are not present in our interactions with others, we can either inadvertently say or do something that can offend someone else. Emotional intelligence is not only being aware and understanding of what we may be feeling but also how others may be experiencing how we are showing up for them. Although, we are not responsible for other people reactions, we can choose to show up in ways that connection building as opposed to being divisive. Connection to each other is more important now more than ever.


This because when we are feeling disconnected, we can fall into depression, anxiety, worry, fearful, and many other chronic states of being. Even though we can learn to be courageous by feeling the fear and doing it anyways, we need others to learn to stand and be brave. Brave to choose connection over being right, peace over conflict, because as can learn to live in the moment and make more loving conscious choices, perhaps, we can begin to change the world, starting with influencing ourselves and then others, to higher more thoughtful way of being.

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